TOP 10 REASONS

why you should probably hire me:

 

1. I burn everything I cook. Guess that means I'll be buying you dinner. 

2. Someone stole my Shark Tank idea. If I were you, I'd invest in me early on.  

3. I lost my pet turtle when I took him for a walk. Now you don't have to worry about me showing up to meetings with my turtle. 

4. I don't wear matching socks. Some call it lazy, I call it original. 

5. I still can't spell legitmately without autocorrect. Lucky for you that means I'll never use the word legitmitly in a client pitch deck. 

6. I wore a nose cast in high school. If I can survive a good soccer punch to the face, I think I can take a little bruising.  

7. I lived with my parents for two years after college, so I've built a pretty invincible foundation of resilience. 

8. Why don’t Pringles cans open on both ends? Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt the flow of things. Just curious. 

  10. My cat gave birth in my college bedroom. That's right- raised a               litter of seven all while graduating magna cum laude. 

  11. I gave 11 reasons instead of 10. So, you can always expect more           than what you didn't ask for.